June 9, 2005
Maybe You Suck
Call me Quixotic. Or even Ishmael. Both are cooler names than Keith. But that's not the point.
The point is that I've always been drawn to the impossible dream; the belief that I could create something special that would touch other people. And no, I'm not talking about that kind of touching - jeez, get your mind out of the gutter!
Anyway, both in my music career and in my literary efforts, I've run into a lot of people - kindred dreamers like me - who spend an inordinate amount of time singing variations of the Woe Is Me song. You know the type: perpetually bemoaning the Unfairness Of It All. Cursing the fact that genius is so rarely appreciated in its own lifetime. To them, I offer this cartoon. It's geared for the music biz, but I think it fits the aspiring writer equally well.
For more cartoons by Lennie Peterson, visit this site.
Elevator to Hell
I've had it drilled into my head that it's important to have a good "elevator pitch." For some reason, I'm pretty good at this, as long as I haven't written the actual book to which the pitch refers. Following are a few of my latest efforts:
In Other News
Apparently it is my belief that the last two syllables in the word nuclear should not rhyme with the last two syllables in spectacular that has kept me from becoming the leader of the free world. Bummer.
The Daily Haiku
Screw Cocoa Puffs - I'm cuckoo for haiku. Today's offering:
Hugs, not Rugs
In keeping with the name of this blog, send me your photos of people with bad wigs, and maybe one of them will end up published, up there in the upper left-hand corner of this mighty blog. I'll even list your name if you want - that should make you instantly popular. All part of the service we provide here at Hell Toupee.
Recommended Reading
Peter DeVries - Slouching Towards Kalamazoo
out of print, but well worth looking for
The point is that I've always been drawn to the impossible dream; the belief that I could create something special that would touch other people. And no, I'm not talking about that kind of touching - jeez, get your mind out of the gutter!
Anyway, both in my music career and in my literary efforts, I've run into a lot of people - kindred dreamers like me - who spend an inordinate amount of time singing variations of the Woe Is Me song. You know the type: perpetually bemoaning the Unfairness Of It All. Cursing the fact that genius is so rarely appreciated in its own lifetime. To them, I offer this cartoon. It's geared for the music biz, but I think it fits the aspiring writer equally well.
For more cartoons by Lennie Peterson, visit this site.
Elevator to Hell
I've had it drilled into my head that it's important to have a good "elevator pitch." For some reason, I'm pretty good at this, as long as I haven't written the actual book to which the pitch refers. Following are a few of my latest efforts:
GUMS
A decrepit old toothless shark terrorizes - well, annoys, really - a New England town during the height of tourist season, leaving nasty bruises and a lingering fishy smell on its victims.
A TALE OF TWO SETTEES
A newly married couple spends hours in a Rooms To Go showroom, trying to decide between two loveseats. Will they make a far, far better purchase than they have ever made before?
LET'S GET THE FOUCAULT OF HERE
"Class is responsible for class divisions," says Foucault; however, according to Hanfkopf[4] , it is not so much class that is responsible for class divisions, but rather the paradigm, and some would say the collapse, of class. In a sense, Lacan's analysis of neodeconstructive theory holds that government is part of the genre of art. Marx promotes the use of textual desituationism to challenge the status quo. If one examines nationalism, one is faced with a choice: either accept postsemiotic libertarianism or ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Sorry - even I couldn't stay awake through that!
And I really didn't write that last one. Instead, I simply used the amazing Postmodern Bullshit Generator - something I wish I'd had access to back in my undergrad days.
In Other News
Apparently it is my belief that the last two syllables in the word nuclear should not rhyme with the last two syllables in spectacular that has kept me from becoming the leader of the free world. Bummer.
The Daily Haiku
Screw Cocoa Puffs - I'm cuckoo for haiku. Today's offering:
He's a Deep One
Okay, I'll admit
I wrote this because I heard
chicks dig guys with blogs.
Hugs, not Rugs
In keeping with the name of this blog, send me your photos of people with bad wigs, and maybe one of them will end up published, up there in the upper left-hand corner of this mighty blog. I'll even list your name if you want - that should make you instantly popular. All part of the service we provide here at Hell Toupee.
Recommended Reading
Peter DeVries - Slouching Towards Kalamazoo
out of print, but well worth looking for
